a synthetic sensation.

So much for a storm. Today was fuckin' hot! I guess that means tomorrow then! I sure hope it's a no show though, I like it when it rains but too much is never a good thing. I've enjoyed the weather the last couple of days due to the fact that it was raining, not too hard or soft, just right. The rain gives me a very soothing feeling of... wanting to go to the toilet. Okay, not really, but yeah it's soothing. It's as if it's washing away all the negativity, to me at least... I'm a very negative and pessimistic person though, there's no doubt about that.

There is one thing I do not like about rain though. When it rains too hard, the bugs go out to play. I'm afraid of bugs okay, maybe not afraid... Terrified, frightened, scared shitless? Somewhere along those lines, but yeah anyway... Just forget I said anything.

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To be quite honest, I just don't really have anything to blog about today. I know I said I'd put up a long ass post today, but it's not done yet! Well okay fine, I haven't even started yet. I think I'll put it up some other time, there's always tomorrow right? I just talk about whatever comes to mind. Most of the time, whatever I end up blogging about has something to do with something that happened recently or something I find interesting or important.

Dearest reader, if you by any chance want to contact me, send an e-mail, leave a message, make a comment! My e-mail's right there by the sidebar along with the links to my profile on 3 other websites I regularly go to, there's a chatbox below it in case you want to drop a small message (The damn spammers are annoying the fuck out of me though) or something, whatever. It'd be nice to know just who the hell is reading this and what they think.

It'd be nice to hear from certain people.

fear is adorable.

I do whatever it takes

When I'm with you I get the shakes

My body aches when I ain't

With you I have zero strength

There's no limit on how far I would go

No boundaries, no lengths

Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks

Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em it's never the same?

You want them when they don't want you

Soon as they do feelings change

It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate

I wasn't looking but I stumbled onto you must've been fate

But so much is at stake what the fuck does it take

Let's cut to the chase

But a door shuts in your face

Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open

That I won't be making a mistake

Eminem is a genius.

It's no contest or conquest. It's fate.

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I know a couple of people in the world who think they're weak, who hold themselves back with fear. I like to think I'm not one of those people anymore, but it comes and goes sometimes. They have things they want to do, things they want to say, but they can't because they're too weak, they're not brave enough, they're afraid of getting hurt, rejected, denied. Or so they think.

Fear is a teacher, so I've learned. Whenever you let it get into your head, it only means you refuse to learn. That's what fear does, it scares you, it's fear after all isn't it? I keep telling myself: If it can't hurt you physically, then it can't kill you. So what is there to be afraid of?

Some say, "but if it doesn't go well, everything will end up awkward, and I'll die of embarrassment! I'll be so depressed and hate myself and it's..." Shut up. Really. Grow the fuck up. So what? If you're sad, then you are. If you're embarrassed, then you are. What does not doing what you want to do have to do with that?

To every action, there is always an equal and opposite reaction. It's the law. Isaac Newton's law (Hey, we have the same name!). Don't be a pussy, deal with the consequences. If it hurts, then it does. Get over it, move on. End of story!

Yes, it's easier said than done, but will you get anywhere just wallowing in fear being a vanilla? Just because there'll be negative reactions in your every action doesn't mean there won't be anything positive with it too.

So you want to learn to ride a bike; you'll fall down and get hurt trying to learn, but you'll learn eventually if you keep trying. You want to confess your undying love for someone but there's a chance you'll be hurt and rejected. So what? The chances of that happening are just as much as the chances of that NOT happening.

Take that extra step. Your decision on whether or not you do something could be the decision on whether or not you'll be happy.

Push yourself, Pull through with it, and just like that great Nike innuendo, "Just Do It." So what's stopping you now? Get out there and do what you want to do, say what you want to say, feel what you want to feel, deal with whatever happens after and move on.

No pain, no gain?