i'll give it hell.

You could be the most beautiful girl in the world.

But your beauty means nothing when you're just full of shit inside.

There is, however, bittersweet irony to that fact.

You could have the most beautiful soul in the world.

But beauty means nothing when you've got nothing to show outside.

Humanity is absolutely beautiful in so many ways. There are so many ways to show just how beautiful each and every human being is. That isn't the case most of the time though. In harsh reality, humanity nearly always overlooks the beauty just sitting right in front of them. Of course, most of the time 'real' beauty is rarely seen because it's never visible on the outside except for rare moments.

The beauty everyone cares about nowadays is image, appearance, and/or physical attributes. Whatever happened to the beauty inside a person? I don't know, life's just unfair that way. Why? That's because metaphorically speaking, nobody ever stops to smell the flowers anymore. Now, why is that? Well, because nobody would give a damn about the smell of a flower if the flower doesn't look good in the first place.

In all honesty, would you want to take some time and effort to get to know someone who's physically ugly just to find out just how beautiful they are inside? No, of course not. Humanity today just wouldn't give a damn. I wouldn't either, unless of course fate makes it happen. Just like how every other person in the world would be. The ugliest of people know the true value of beauty, just like how the weakest of people know how valuable it really is to be strong.

In conclusion, This is how harsh reality is:

Nobody would give a shit about how beautiful you are on the inside if you don't look the slightest bit pretty on the outside. Nobody would take the time to do so unless you had looks. That's how important appearance was, is, and will be. That's what we are. Why the hell bother? Exactly.

admittedly, subliminally.

For as long as I can remember, I've always believed that it's better to speak your mind and be straightforward than to just sugar coat everything with sympathy. As far as I know, sympathy never got you anything or anywhere except for self satisfaction, self pity. People get used to sympathy. It's just life. Sympathy is just a nicer way of saying someone feels bad about you. I don't know, it's just how I think.

Aside from that, I've also always thought that it's better to speak the harsh truth than to cover everything up with lies. A vast majority of people are just far too scared to face the truth, to face reality. It's going to hurt, but there's no gain without pain. If you can't face the harshness of life itself, then how the hell do you expect to survive?

Covering yourself up with lies to protect yourself from getting hurt is just pathetic. Sugarcoating yourself with sympathy doesn't make anything any better either. It just wastes your time. All these 'defense mechanisms' to protect yourself? All this negativity you surround yourself in? Don't waste your time.

Hah, I know I've talked about and posted about this before... But for someone like me, it's going to be something I need to face each and everyday. Entering a completely different lifestyle and culture, it's a fact that it shouldn't be them who should adjust to me but me who should adjust to them as unfair as it is (Although it'd be so much better if it were the other way around).

I have a habit to speak my mind and not realize I'm already hurting others with what I'm saying. As harsh as that is, that is who I am. I'm not going to change for anyone around here because I'm just not sensitive that way. I just don't care. It's so hard to live in a mindset where you can find nobody around you who can understand you, what more be able to be on level with what you're thinking of or talking about.

It's unfair, but it's the harsh truth, and like everyone out there, the harsh truth is something I've got to face too.

tell me i'm a wreck.

Some people are assholes. I sat with an autistic guy on the bus on the way back from an outing by myself. Two guys laughed at him. Making fun of him, y'know. He saw me holding a cake, then told me he was claustrophobic. First thing I said was, 'why did you ride a bus in the first place?' ... Followed by 'Be careful, I hope you know where you're supposed to go down'.

He was a twitchy character. He rocked back and forth in his seat and he couldn't stop fiddling with anything he owned on the bus. He was becoming pretty violent and pushy being claustrophobic and all, but I guess it was fine. He just wanted to get home. He got off eventually, was glad for him.

There are a lot of autistic people in the world. They have special needs, and they didn't have a choice. It's not like they wanted to be like that when they were born. Being autistic does not make someone any different from anybody else in the world. Just because one seems bad on the outside doesn't mean he's bad on the inside too. Have a heart for these people, because they have one too.