it's not the first time, but this one really carved it in.

I just absolutely hate waiting. Call me impatient, but I just don't see any productivity in waiting for anything or anyone. They say that patience is a virtue, and that it takes one hell of a person to wait for something. When waiting for someone or something, there's a fine line between 'one hell of a person' and 'one hell of an idiot'. You're one hell of a person when you do the waiting the right way, and one hell of an idiot when you do it wrong.

 Now, let's explore. What does waiting do for us aside from teach us to be patient and completely waste our time? A lot of hopeless romantics (I would call myself one, but I'm against waiting) would say that anyone can tell someone they love him or her, but it takes someone really awesome to actually wait and prove it's true. I say, to hell with that! You can wait and prove it's true, but in all honesty, the people worth waiting for are the ones who wouldn't let you wait for even a second. Am I right, or am I right?

 Now that I've completely destroyed that quote, what else is there to contradict about waiting? Oh, I know. The 'wastes our time' part. Of course, there are benefits in waiting, like um, learning about patience. Yes, having patience is nice and all, I've got to admit that but when you wait, you also waste time in a way. Why wait for something when you could be doing something more productive? Why sit and wait for someone, when there's an infinite supply of everything for you out there in the world? I mean, who knows. You could be waiting for someone or something, when at that given moment, you could have been going places or gaining things, going further and moving forward.

No, I'm not the kind of person who's patient. I get bored easily, but I'm pretty sure a couple of posts back, I said that "I was one hell of a patient person". See how worthless waiting is? People change, everything changes. The only thing that's permanent in the world is change. You could be patient now and be the complete opposite later, but what's the point? It's been proven that time waits for no man, so why waste your time waiting? I guess it's the fact that each and everyone of us has a different perspective about waiting, and each of us has our own limits here and there when it comes to that.

Actually, anyone can wait for anything. The only thing we're all ever scared of is whether or not the wait will be worth it in the end. You could be madly in love with someone at that moment and completely convince yourself that you could wait a lifetime for them, when the harsh truth is that your mind could change at any given moment at any given time. Since we're all so scared about what's worth waiting for and what isn't, we end up letting the time slip past us. That in turn causes us to miss a whole lot of different opportunities, good and bad.

A quote I could actually agree on is the one that goes "Do not wait for the perfect moment, take a moment and make it perfect." That, ladies and gentlemen, is truth. We human beings never get satisfied, and that just causes the worst kind of effect on people who actually wait. They just wait and wait for that moment, but since the said person is human, he will never get satisfied or reached the peak of complacency and finally admit that a said moment is deemed absolutely perfect. Long story short, why wait when you could take it right now?

It's right there in front of you, why pull someone's strings and make them wait? So that they could prove they're true? Well, that's unfair. Sometimes, you just need to jump in and take the risk, fuck the waiting. Grab every opportunity you can before they disappear out of your reach, because once they're gone, they may never come back. See how much of a waste that is? Oh, and remember what I said about how everyone has got their own limit? You will never know when enough is enough and how long you can keep going because you could be a second away from believing they're true, when they're one second advanced in coming to the conclusion that you're just wasting their time. 

People have got to realize that. That you can gain just as much as you can lose just by seizing the moment or waiting endlessly. Waiting makes absolutely no progress, that's why it's called waiting... And with lifespans as short as ours, I sure as hell don't have any time to waste. Everything moves forward, no matter how slow, no matter how short, all we've got to do is keep up. Take that extra step, one step at a time. Why wait when you could be more than you already are? Why lag behind for something when everything is advancing? People mistake waiting as something positive only because they apply impatience with something negative like fear, therefore in the end, it fucks the whole system up.

In all honesty, all I really wanted to do was completely destroy that 'wait and prove it's true' shit because I think it's full of shit, but I think I've accomplished a whole lot more than that. Never let anyone let you wait. Do what you want. Always dictate the pace. Keep up or eat dust. I repeat, nobody's worth waiting for, because the ones worth waiting for won't let you wait.

i'll give it hell.

You could be the most beautiful girl in the world.

But your beauty means nothing when you're just full of shit inside.

There is, however, bittersweet irony to that fact.

You could have the most beautiful soul in the world.

But beauty means nothing when you've got nothing to show outside.

Humanity is absolutely beautiful in so many ways. There are so many ways to show just how beautiful each and every human being is. That isn't the case most of the time though. In harsh reality, humanity nearly always overlooks the beauty just sitting right in front of them. Of course, most of the time 'real' beauty is rarely seen because it's never visible on the outside except for rare moments.

The beauty everyone cares about nowadays is image, appearance, and/or physical attributes. Whatever happened to the beauty inside a person? I don't know, life's just unfair that way. Why? That's because metaphorically speaking, nobody ever stops to smell the flowers anymore. Now, why is that? Well, because nobody would give a damn about the smell of a flower if the flower doesn't look good in the first place.

In all honesty, would you want to take some time and effort to get to know someone who's physically ugly just to find out just how beautiful they are inside? No, of course not. Humanity today just wouldn't give a damn. I wouldn't either, unless of course fate makes it happen. Just like how every other person in the world would be. The ugliest of people know the true value of beauty, just like how the weakest of people know how valuable it really is to be strong.

In conclusion, This is how harsh reality is:

Nobody would give a shit about how beautiful you are on the inside if you don't look the slightest bit pretty on the outside. Nobody would take the time to do so unless you had looks. That's how important appearance was, is, and will be. That's what we are. Why the hell bother? Exactly.

woosah.

If it were up to you, would you listen to what everyone around you is telling you? The cold, hard facts they state... Or would you rather listen to the things being said in your head? The thoughts and feelings you believe in?

Don't get me wrong, I've hit mind-blowing decisions like these. You will either be put down by the facts, or will be lifted off the ground by your beliefs. I was just curious, what decision would you have made?

Facts are pieces of information known to exist by evidence or demonstration. They are things you can't go against, because no matter which side or angle you look at it, it's the truth and nothing but the truth. There is no hint of lie in a fact, it is what it is and there is nothing you can do about it.

Beliefs are the mental acceptances of and conviction in the truth. The faith and trust you have to what you know and what you think is true. The side and angle that only your eyes can see, regardless whether it is a lie or not. It is what you think it is and only you influence it, nobody else.

Now that you know the base of each side, which side will you be standing by? The side with all the facts fed by everyone else, or the side with all the faith you have in yourself? Tough luck, this shit's not easy. Let us give a scenario.

The best and most painful scenario you could possibly think of would be the one within a relationship. Speaking from a guy's point of view, you meet this nice, kind lady. After getting acquainted well enough, the chase begins. Days pass, she slowly becomes the person you want to keep talking to, the one you want to get to know more and more and the person you want to be with all at the same time. Soon after, girl admits her feelings for you too. You both hit stage 3 and label yourselves as a 'couple'.

Given that the last few weeks were probably the best couple of days you've ever had for a while, now that you're together, it's as if you're on cloud 9. You'd go out with your girlfriend, you'd have the best time ever. Only you can see it, feel it and actually be with it. That notion where it's as if everything within and around you is at peace, because you're actually truly happy. You know it won't last all day, but at least at that moment in time, even if it was just for a bit, you actually were.. And it was great.

Everything felt great. You'd talk and talk, and you'd both never run out of things to say. You were so comfortable with each other that even a moment of silence between the both of you would not feel the slightest bit awkward or disturbing. Everything you would say to each other would be understood to the very base of the word, without explanation. The best feeling in the world is the one where you know that someone is right there who understands you word for word, who cares about you, and that no matter where she may be out there in the world, she is thinking of you just as you are thinking of her.

You'd have a stupid grin on when you get home. You'd be so motivated to do anything because you're so full of energy. All those times with her, your inside jokes, your similarities and differences that fit so well together, how you both are said to always be blooming and just glowing with positive energy when together... And then all that just suddenly comes crashing down when you least expect it. Shattered completely.

The next stage of this story comes forth and takes place when you get "facts" from friends and family that everything was lie. That through observation, facts and stories compiled and analyzed, they saw that everything was a lie. You did not see it coming. At all. So, you were told: She lied about her feelings to get to you. She initiated this "relationship" to her advantage so she could get what she wanted out of somebody, that somebody being you.

That she toyed with your emotions. She toyed with your whole relationship and time with her to get what she wanted out of you. She lied and faked it all. What hurts the most is that after hearing all those facts, each and every fact had evidence to prove it all true. That after all that, you just don't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. What's true, and what isn't. What's right, and what's wrong. Everything that actually meant something to you, that even for a moment made you feel infinite, just withered away to nothing all of a sudden.

You just knew and felt your friends and family had good intentions, not meaning any harm or selfish reasons. They just really wanted to protect you from getting any more damaged and hurt as it is. You can't help but agree to that, because you know that's true. However, was what was between you and her, between the two of you and only the two of you, supposed to be something they should have meddled in and caused this issue?

Deep inside all the confusion, you just can't believe it because it sure as hell didn't feel that way. If it were even the slightest bit that way, you would have at least felt something. But no, you didn't. You just somehow knew that through all those laughs and smiles you looked right into her eyes and could've sworn, it was not fake. It was not a lie. It was all true. You could feel it rushing inside you that there is something wrong but you just can't lay your finger on the fact that it's her that was.

That silence, never running out of things to say, laughing and enjoying each other's company. That moment where you looked into each other's eyes and felt a zing in your stomach and goosebumps all over, because it all felt so right, just so fucking true because eyes can't lie. You just can't believe that all that was a lie. Throughout all that, in the end you were both just separated. Forbidden to see each other again. It all ended prematurely, and you'll never know what her side of the story was, something you'd be dying to hear.

There are things you saw and felt that they sure as hell couldn't, but there are things they saw and felt that you sure as hell didn't.

Now, tell me. Which side would you have listened to if you came to that scenario? Friends and family who've stuck with you through thick and thin, or that feeling of the hint of infinity still rushing inside you from all that's happened? Could it have been a misinterpretation? From yours or theirs? Would you face the facts, or trust your faith in what you believe in?

"The heart will always follow the mind. We all live to learn about ourselves, everybody is just a branch for you to understand and learn about yourself more."

untangle me.

Everybody has their own weaknesses and insecurities. I grew up feeling belittled, underestimated and told I was too young too understand, that these "older" people know more than I do in every given aspect and manner so I shouldn't question their knowledge.

Yes. It's true that older people know more than me, that I will learn only through experience and passed on knowledge. However, that does not give them the right to fucking belittle me and push me down because they know better.

I may be young, stupid and reckless but that does not mean I know nothing useful about the world. I want to learn, to grow. Given the facts, this insecurity only makes me want to go the distance and prove everyone wrong. That anything they can do, I can do better.

Just a little knowledge passed, some hard work and a chance. Just one chance to show i'm not something you should be underestimating because I'm more than just a guy with hopes and dreams.

Yes, it makes me come out as cocky and ignorant, but hell, if you can back yourself up with evidence and facts, what do you have to lose? Shove it up the other's ass if he doesn't know what's good for him. Even so, you don't have every right to be full of yourself if you've got it. When you see a mistake, don't allow it. Correct it. That's it. It's a matter of how you take it in.

Another weakness I have inside me is the tendency to think I don't belong, whatever it may be. In class discussions, in groups of friends, in certain ways, I just want to feel like I belong in the world.

I hated the feeling of being left out, pushed away because I'm not "included" or considered "not good enough". Bullshit like that, I'm pretty sure I'm good enough for everything if I set my mind to it and work hard.

Simply put in the words of John Rzeznik, a moment to be real, to touch things I don't feel, just to hold on and feel like I belong. All these insecurities and weaknesses, it feels pathetic.

Then again, I've learnt to accept the facts and face them, that I am who I am and I can only change for the better. I'm happy being all happy-go- lucky and carefree thinking of all the good things in life even if it makes me come out as someone who's just plain immature and full of jokes.

Just because I am what I am doesn't mean when given the right moment or time, I can't be mature or serious. I don't need someone to tell me to do that, I'm just happy acting like I'm 12 trying to enjoy all the good things in life and taking out the bad in the world.

Be careful of your judgements, they're not usually right. It takes a whole book to write a story, and every chapter is different from the other, so you can't tell what it is from one measly cover. Some people don't get it, but that just isn't any of my concern because I'll be too busy enjoying life while these "people" make their judgement.