passive aggressive.

"Bad luck.. or just outright stupid?"

The phrase that's summed up the last couple of days. I'd say I'm disappointed, but I saw it coming. Now, people are going to judge you and hate you for who you are. They're either jealous of you, or just insecure of their little fucked up lives. I'd say both, but that'd be too nice. You see, there are people you see in the movies are just so despicable, so sick and nasty you would never have expected to actually meet someone like that in reality living, breathing, fucking other peoples' lives up.

Now I don't give a fuck if this is going to offend anybody, hell, I've got nothing to lose anymore. Again, you see, I've been screwed over. My first instinct was to land a left hook on the said person's face, but that wouldn't be politically correct. Then I thought: revenge is only going to get me temporary satisfaction, so why do that? Now if you're someone I know or just a random reader, you're probably wondering, "What the hell is up with this guy?". I don't give a damn what you feel *cough* sorry, just kidding. Anyway, all I want to do right now is speak my mind. So let us start!

As I was saying, I've been screwed over. I can't blame anyone for my misfortune though. I'd be getting nowhere if I were just sitting around playing the blame game. I could tell you everything I thought was true, but some people just wouldn't believe it. Either that, or they just wouldn't care. Why? Corruption, that's why! We've all got what we've got like one man's treasure is another man's trash. The question is whether you're grateful, or just taking it for granted.

I think I've taken some people for granted. More or less, they've done the same with me. However, deep inside I know how important someone can really be and I value each and everything I've gotten and possessed up until the point they've disappeared or left. Here's a little question for you: How much do you value someone?

If you really valued someone, they'd come before anything else. Before you believe what another person says about something you valued, you'd question the value itself first. Now, let's put that to a person's perspective. Here's a BIG question for you: If you were me, who would you believe first? A friend you barely know, or a friend who's been there for you through thick and thin? A friend you just met, or a friend you've known for a while? Now, I know what you're thinking. The righteous would say the second option, the idiotic would say the first. Then again, you wouldn't be questioning yourself on decisions like this if you really knew what you valued. Do you see where I'm coming from here? No? Let me elaborate.

I have my own opinion on things. I stand up for myself, and I stand up for what I believe in. It's up to you to believe it or not. Now, referring to a statement I made up there (I mentioned corruption), there will be people in the world who are just so foul they'd manipulate what you've said and turn it against you. The stupid thing would be that you'd actually believe it. Let's say you did. Now apply all this to the BIG question. Would you play into the manipulation, or have faith in what you valued?

Here's what we learned. Don't believe in words you didn't hear yourself. They lead to assumptions and wrong accusations. Most of all, know your right from wrong, be careful who you trust, and before you fall into traps like this, think of what you've got to lose. We all know what we've got, it's just that we all didn't think we'd lose it, that's why we take some things for granted. Those things we took for granted in the end? They could have been true, but you chose to believe the lie instead because you didn't stop and think. When you finally realize you've fucked up, it'll have been too late.

You're going to regret this.

i'll give it hell.

You could be the most beautiful girl in the world.

But your beauty means nothing when you're just full of shit inside.

There is, however, bittersweet irony to that fact.

You could have the most beautiful soul in the world.

But beauty means nothing when you've got nothing to show outside.

Humanity is absolutely beautiful in so many ways. There are so many ways to show just how beautiful each and every human being is. That isn't the case most of the time though. In harsh reality, humanity nearly always overlooks the beauty just sitting right in front of them. Of course, most of the time 'real' beauty is rarely seen because it's never visible on the outside except for rare moments.

The beauty everyone cares about nowadays is image, appearance, and/or physical attributes. Whatever happened to the beauty inside a person? I don't know, life's just unfair that way. Why? That's because metaphorically speaking, nobody ever stops to smell the flowers anymore. Now, why is that? Well, because nobody would give a damn about the smell of a flower if the flower doesn't look good in the first place.

In all honesty, would you want to take some time and effort to get to know someone who's physically ugly just to find out just how beautiful they are inside? No, of course not. Humanity today just wouldn't give a damn. I wouldn't either, unless of course fate makes it happen. Just like how every other person in the world would be. The ugliest of people know the true value of beauty, just like how the weakest of people know how valuable it really is to be strong.

In conclusion, This is how harsh reality is:

Nobody would give a shit about how beautiful you are on the inside if you don't look the slightest bit pretty on the outside. Nobody would take the time to do so unless you had looks. That's how important appearance was, is, and will be. That's what we are. Why the hell bother? Exactly.

heartbreak to infinity.

A month and a half ago, I was lying in bed the whole afternoon thinking of what to do when all this came slamming into my head. I put it in my iTouch to remember. Just putting it up for you all to read ;)

Heartbreak. Have you ever had the feeling of heartbreak before? Being rejected from your feelings because the other doesn't feel the same way? The feeling of heartbreak because the person you're in love with loves someone else? It's like having ice cream on a cone, but the ice cream fell off. It's like breaking your favorite toy, or losing your favorite shirt because it's too small.

Heartbreak comes in many shapes and forms, but the heartbreak found in a relationship isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the teeny tiny heartbreak you get when you see a person you somewhat have a crush on either way, but you're too out of their league to even have a chance.

Of course that has got to suck big time but that small ray of hope, a silver lining thinking: even against all odds, above all differences and dilemmas stopping you, you can't help but surrender to the fact that your optimism thinks you've still got a chance in the world no matter how small.

Yeah, it's not much of a chance, more or less a miracle if it could happen, it being you and this person becoming a "thing". That leads us to the fact that all human beings would risk getting hurt, risk everything they've got or even give their lives for a small chance, a way or a lead to be... infinite.

Isn't that what we're all fighting for in life? To be infinite? The phrase "to be infinite", what is it exactly? To be in love? To be happy? To be full of yourself? No? Well, I'd have to say being infinite could mean different to one and the same with the next. Whatever that may be, each and every person has their own point of view of what infinite is, and/or what that path to infinity will be for them. Whatever that may be, we all want the same thing, to be infinite.

So that brings us back to our topic of the tiny heartbreak with a person way out of your league that doesn't even know you're in love with them. Wait, love?

So you "love" this person, what does that mean? Does it mean unconditionally, till death do you part, forever and always? Does it mean you like them or you're interested? Or maybe it just means you're infatuated with lust or maybe you're just so fucking turned on by this person? Who knows.

Everyone's got their own way of thinking what the word "love" means for them. That brings us back to the point of infinity, where everyone's got their own definition of what that infinity could be.

That gives us the conclusion that being infinite and being in love are alike. Whatever they may be, depending on how one sees it, love and infinity could be two different things, or two similar things and maybe even to some, they could be one thing altogether. In that case, what we're all risking our lives for, what we're fighting for, what we're giving our blood, sweat and tears for... Is to be loved.

Conclusion? To be loved, is to be infinite. Love is infinite.

And for that heartbreak dilemma? Let's just put it as the great phrase coming from The Beatles: All You Need Is Love. Let love lead your path to infinity. A little thinking, some honesty, a ray of hope, a pinch of courage and a whole lot of love: that's all there is to be infinite.