you can rewrite and erase anything.

"The Moon forms an uncomfortable semisquare with your key planet Venus today, tying your feelings up in knots. A simple desire becomes more complex as you obsess about the power that love has over you. However, your worries may just be the result of an overactive imagination. Don't waste time thinking about something that may never happen. You'll be happier if you keep your attention on the present moment."

"The Moon's semisquare with Venus intensifies emotions right now as the power of love overtakes you. Stay in the moment rather than give in to your imagination."

I swear, sometimes I just fucking hate horoscopes. "Thinking about something that may never happen"? Fuck that, it may never happen, but there's still a chance that it will. Stubborn me says I will kick ass to get that something. I will move heaven and hell for it. Oh yeah.

Rant conclusion: I will not give up or give in. I will hope and believe.

THANK YOU *bow*

we'll be a dream.

hope

1. To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.

2. To look forward to with confidence or expectation.

3. To expect and desire.

4. A source of mental strength and belief.

I started my day with a plan. I intended to go to a place, for some peace and quiet, a bit of studying, a little leisure and enjoyment at most. A certain someone in my life decided she wanted to come along too. I was told we'd leave right after she finished her workload. An hour of sweat, patience and work later, she finished. Oh, it didn't end there, instead she decided to take some time to do what she wanted, not thinking that there was someone waiting for her.

Ticked off and full of disappointment, I stormed off alone. A few minutes later, I received a text from her asking where I was. The patient and forgiving bastard that I am decided to tell her and wait for her to show up anyway. Of course, I gave her a piece of my mind telling her off for what she did (Don't say you're showing up for something if you don't intend to in the first place or aren't sure to make it anyway because anything can change in the very last minute. You can end up disappointing and hurting people), but I'm just a little too fucking nice for some stupid reason. Another hour or two of waiting later (I'm too pissed off to be sure), she still doesn't show up so I leave my waiting spot to eat and explore. 4 places later, she pops up. She drags me along with her to do her errands. Well whoop-di-fucking-do.

Before that I asked where she wanted to go, trying to be polite. I was given the idea that after all these errands, I'd finally be able to follow through with my plan. Right before she'd finish her workload, again, I sat in a shop and waited. To make sure I'd know how long she took, I looked at the time. 5:45PM. Cool, right? Yeah, well I left the shop at 7:30PM. Alone. She never showed up. No text, nothing.

Hell, I would have been fine with it actually, but did I get a rain check? Did I get a reconfirmation? No, not a word. I was a sitting idiot waiting for nearly 2 hours (This just proves how Taureans are the most patient of the Zodiac) AGAIN. She could have texted half an hour later or something saying she just couldn't make it, or how something came up or at least gave the decency to say she changed her mind.

The best bit of my long day? Right after I stormed off to eat dinner, I received a text from said person to come home and do my chores. Pissed off and hungry as it is (Not to mention I didn't even manage to follow through with my plan), I replied NICELY that I was just going to eat dinner. She assumed I just didn't want to eat dinner at home. No, wrong. I already had an order coming up that was paid for. Aside from that, it was a plan set in stone for me to eat out since the very beginning of the day. The moment I got home, I got bombarded with a lecture about dinner, being inconsiderate and uninformative and my chores being incomplete for two days already. Okay so it's my fault that I didn't do my chores, and it's my fault for not telling them my plans in the first place (Just for the record, everyone in the household was asleep and I just thought she'd be thoughtful enough to mention my plans to someone of authority at home which she knew clearly, though I could've texted too and told someone. Damn it, scratch that then).

Lesson learned. I can't blame the person though, it'll be pointless and doing that won't get anywhere. It was my stupidity and idiocy alone that decided what I decided and followed through with something that wasn't likely to happen in the first place. Now, I'm just so pissed off with myself for being so stupid. This could all have been avoided, but I didn't think it through. I was just too busy hoping, blinded.

It just hurts, y'know? That wasn't nice at all. Not for me, at least.

Today, I learned that I should really think my plans through and tell someone about it before I act. I learned that I shouldn't hope too big, it'll save me the disappointment and getting hurt in the end. Most of all, I learned that I should know my limits; to know when enough is enough. Oh I don't know, what do you think, reader? Wait, don't answer that, I'd only be looking for approval. I hope you learned something here, this was first-hand experience.

PS: To said person, if you somehow end up reading this: Thank you for the long and memorable day, I learned a lot today. Don't bother apologizing, you didn't do anything wrong, I guess.

Before I end this post, I'd just like to say We The Kings' Smile Kid album isn't so bad, but it isn't anywhere near good either. They could've done better.

heartbreak to infinity.

A month and a half ago, I was lying in bed the whole afternoon thinking of what to do when all this came slamming into my head. I put it in my iTouch to remember. Just putting it up for you all to read ;)

Heartbreak. Have you ever had the feeling of heartbreak before? Being rejected from your feelings because the other doesn't feel the same way? The feeling of heartbreak because the person you're in love with loves someone else? It's like having ice cream on a cone, but the ice cream fell off. It's like breaking your favorite toy, or losing your favorite shirt because it's too small.

Heartbreak comes in many shapes and forms, but the heartbreak found in a relationship isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the teeny tiny heartbreak you get when you see a person you somewhat have a crush on either way, but you're too out of their league to even have a chance.

Of course that has got to suck big time but that small ray of hope, a silver lining thinking: even against all odds, above all differences and dilemmas stopping you, you can't help but surrender to the fact that your optimism thinks you've still got a chance in the world no matter how small.

Yeah, it's not much of a chance, more or less a miracle if it could happen, it being you and this person becoming a "thing". That leads us to the fact that all human beings would risk getting hurt, risk everything they've got or even give their lives for a small chance, a way or a lead to be... infinite.

Isn't that what we're all fighting for in life? To be infinite? The phrase "to be infinite", what is it exactly? To be in love? To be happy? To be full of yourself? No? Well, I'd have to say being infinite could mean different to one and the same with the next. Whatever that may be, each and every person has their own point of view of what infinite is, and/or what that path to infinity will be for them. Whatever that may be, we all want the same thing, to be infinite.

So that brings us back to our topic of the tiny heartbreak with a person way out of your league that doesn't even know you're in love with them. Wait, love?

So you "love" this person, what does that mean? Does it mean unconditionally, till death do you part, forever and always? Does it mean you like them or you're interested? Or maybe it just means you're infatuated with lust or maybe you're just so fucking turned on by this person? Who knows.

Everyone's got their own way of thinking what the word "love" means for them. That brings us back to the point of infinity, where everyone's got their own definition of what that infinity could be.

That gives us the conclusion that being infinite and being in love are alike. Whatever they may be, depending on how one sees it, love and infinity could be two different things, or two similar things and maybe even to some, they could be one thing altogether. In that case, what we're all risking our lives for, what we're fighting for, what we're giving our blood, sweat and tears for... Is to be loved.

Conclusion? To be loved, is to be infinite. Love is infinite.

And for that heartbreak dilemma? Let's just put it as the great phrase coming from The Beatles: All You Need Is Love. Let love lead your path to infinity. A little thinking, some honesty, a ray of hope, a pinch of courage and a whole lot of love: that's all there is to be infinite.