save your breath and i'll talk instead.

There are people who put up plastic faces. Faces they show to others, faces they want others to believe are genuine. These people are full of shit. To hide the truth is not only lying to others, but lying to yourself. Some people would go to any lengths to prove their plastic face is real, some people even wind up insane believing it's real even when they know deep down it's a complete fake.

I'm not going to hide anything, in my own honest opinion there are just some people in the world that aren't worth being real to. What you see is what you get, and that's what I'm going to give you. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm not going to lie if I know inside that I like it, nor will I just be nice and say that I do even when I know I don't. Of course, that's just me. What about you?

Some call it being heartless, I call it being brutally honest. For example, you are about to be given a cupcake. Would you rather have the one that's bitter but sugar coated with something sweet, or the one that's bitter and nothing else? Don't tell me you won't pick the one with the sugar coating, because a vast majority would do just that.

In all honesty, that's what everyone wants in the world. People who sugar coat them with what they think is nice. Only a select few in the world want to face the bitter reality. Different people put up different kinds of defense mechanisms so they won't get hurt, so they don't have to face the bitterness, so they can get away and escape from reality.

A friend of mine once said, "escaping reality is like escaping the trial meant for you to go through in order to begin your journey of self discovery". The point I'm trying to make is obvious, don't try to escape reality. You're only fooling yourself if you think escaping reality is living. It isn't.

By escaping reality, you're only lying to yourself for not facing the truth, for not facing the fact that what is is what is. You'd be living a lie, hell, you'd be a lie. You'd be putting up a plastic face for everyone to see, because the real you inside that face doesn't want to face what's in front of you. You'd only be trying to convince yourself that a lie is the truth. It's pathetic, it's disgusting, it's fucking stupid.

To know the truth, and cover it up with lies because you don't want to face it... How low can you get? It's like saying you love someone, but holding it back and saying you don't because you're afraid of the truth. You're in denial and murdering a part of your world. What's worse is getting caught in the act. It's not so bad if nobody knows, but once you get caught doing this, every image about you is completely shattered.

All the truths you've said in the past are now moot after what you did, and moving on from that, how can you expect someone to believe what you say anymore? In the end, everything you say and will say will just end up as a doubt, nothing believable anymore. You've done it once, you can do it again. It's all face value from there.

Face reality, don't kill it.

heartbreak to infinity.

A month and a half ago, I was lying in bed the whole afternoon thinking of what to do when all this came slamming into my head. I put it in my iTouch to remember. Just putting it up for you all to read ;)

Heartbreak. Have you ever had the feeling of heartbreak before? Being rejected from your feelings because the other doesn't feel the same way? The feeling of heartbreak because the person you're in love with loves someone else? It's like having ice cream on a cone, but the ice cream fell off. It's like breaking your favorite toy, or losing your favorite shirt because it's too small.

Heartbreak comes in many shapes and forms, but the heartbreak found in a relationship isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the teeny tiny heartbreak you get when you see a person you somewhat have a crush on either way, but you're too out of their league to even have a chance.

Of course that has got to suck big time but that small ray of hope, a silver lining thinking: even against all odds, above all differences and dilemmas stopping you, you can't help but surrender to the fact that your optimism thinks you've still got a chance in the world no matter how small.

Yeah, it's not much of a chance, more or less a miracle if it could happen, it being you and this person becoming a "thing". That leads us to the fact that all human beings would risk getting hurt, risk everything they've got or even give their lives for a small chance, a way or a lead to be... infinite.

Isn't that what we're all fighting for in life? To be infinite? The phrase "to be infinite", what is it exactly? To be in love? To be happy? To be full of yourself? No? Well, I'd have to say being infinite could mean different to one and the same with the next. Whatever that may be, each and every person has their own point of view of what infinite is, and/or what that path to infinity will be for them. Whatever that may be, we all want the same thing, to be infinite.

So that brings us back to our topic of the tiny heartbreak with a person way out of your league that doesn't even know you're in love with them. Wait, love?

So you "love" this person, what does that mean? Does it mean unconditionally, till death do you part, forever and always? Does it mean you like them or you're interested? Or maybe it just means you're infatuated with lust or maybe you're just so fucking turned on by this person? Who knows.

Everyone's got their own way of thinking what the word "love" means for them. That brings us back to the point of infinity, where everyone's got their own definition of what that infinity could be.

That gives us the conclusion that being infinite and being in love are alike. Whatever they may be, depending on how one sees it, love and infinity could be two different things, or two similar things and maybe even to some, they could be one thing altogether. In that case, what we're all risking our lives for, what we're fighting for, what we're giving our blood, sweat and tears for... Is to be loved.

Conclusion? To be loved, is to be infinite. Love is infinite.

And for that heartbreak dilemma? Let's just put it as the great phrase coming from The Beatles: All You Need Is Love. Let love lead your path to infinity. A little thinking, some honesty, a ray of hope, a pinch of courage and a whole lot of love: that's all there is to be infinite.