"Seventeen and Invincible"- Boys Like Girls
Just about a year away from freedom, I still feel indifferent. According to my birth certificate, I am. According to my head, I'm not. It's been stated clearly that the moment I come of age, no matter what stunt I pull or what decision I make, it's solely my responsibility and nobody can tell me off or get pissed or whatever. My life, my shit after all. Then again, that's nice and all but it's a year away.
I'd hate to admit it, but I'm excited for that moment to show up. Being a legal adult, the restraints and bonds from parents and authority figures are broken and the only real authority anyone has on me will be moot. Heck I'll be the only one with authority over myself, how great would that be?
There are still those times where I think twice about this though. As excited as I am, I don't want to rush it. Life's going by just fine although things could be better. Things could always be better, after all a human being's satisfaction is a bottomless pit. I mean, weighing out all the pros and cons, it would mean a lot of different things.
I'd have more responsibilities. I'd be in charge of anything that had to do with me. I'd have obligations that only I will be able to do, and there will certainly be things that just wouldn't fall under the category of awesome once you're an adult. It's fucking scary, that's what it is.
All that aside, things are just always scarier than they seem the first time. The first step is always the hardest. There are still quite a handful of benefits from that too, and who doesn't like benefits? Nobody. I can have a tattoo and no one can say shit to stop me. I can drink, smoke or just plain find something to kill my body in the long run like everyone else does and nobody can stop me. Well, okay that's not something I'd do anyway but that's a benefit.
Not only that, I can eat, drink, and do whatever I fucking want in the world! Wait no, fuck that, UNIVERSE! Come to think of it, I can be with absolutely any girl I desire in the whole world and nobody has the damn authority to stop me from that! HAHA y'know what, adulthood is going to be great when I get there.
But of course, I'm not trying to be a killjoy but this doesn't necessarily apply to everyone. Who knows, I may even get to the point of adulthood and still be under the complete authority of Mummy or something. That would be a laugh. BUT NO, I will be a man. More manly than any of those men they made in Mulan to defeat the Huns.
I'd hate to say it, but the older I get, everything I've said in this post just completely contradicts the fact that I want to be young again. (like 4 years old, care-free and innocent) Makes no sense doesn't it? First I said I wanted to get to adulthood, no rush and all... And now I'm saying I want to say forever young. You can call me crazy, but being a kid is just fine for me (this post just doesn't make sense anymore).
At seventeen, this is my imagination of adulthood. I know damn well I'm still a child at heart. Who isn't anyway? To conclude this post, it was fun looking towards the future and how it'd be like when I get there (although some facts stated above have already been confirmed) but I'm fine with right now. I'll live in the moment, and that's just fine by me.
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I think I'll put a time limit on myself. As of today, if there is no progress after a month or so, I'll forget it and go back to square one. It'd be stupid holding on to something that just isn't going anywhere now, wouldn't it? Progress would mean even a slight bump, a peep, I don't care, just... something from you and it would be enough for now, I guess. It does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. I don't want to do this, but it just isn't healthy for me making no progress whatsoever. This is just so one-sided now.
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