untangle me.

Everybody has their own weaknesses and insecurities. I grew up feeling belittled, underestimated and told I was too young too understand, that these "older" people know more than I do in every given aspect and manner so I shouldn't question their knowledge.

Yes. It's true that older people know more than me, that I will learn only through experience and passed on knowledge. However, that does not give them the right to fucking belittle me and push me down because they know better.

I may be young, stupid and reckless but that does not mean I know nothing useful about the world. I want to learn, to grow. Given the facts, this insecurity only makes me want to go the distance and prove everyone wrong. That anything they can do, I can do better.

Just a little knowledge passed, some hard work and a chance. Just one chance to show i'm not something you should be underestimating because I'm more than just a guy with hopes and dreams.

Yes, it makes me come out as cocky and ignorant, but hell, if you can back yourself up with evidence and facts, what do you have to lose? Shove it up the other's ass if he doesn't know what's good for him. Even so, you don't have every right to be full of yourself if you've got it. When you see a mistake, don't allow it. Correct it. That's it. It's a matter of how you take it in.

Another weakness I have inside me is the tendency to think I don't belong, whatever it may be. In class discussions, in groups of friends, in certain ways, I just want to feel like I belong in the world.

I hated the feeling of being left out, pushed away because I'm not "included" or considered "not good enough". Bullshit like that, I'm pretty sure I'm good enough for everything if I set my mind to it and work hard.

Simply put in the words of John Rzeznik, a moment to be real, to touch things I don't feel, just to hold on and feel like I belong. All these insecurities and weaknesses, it feels pathetic.

Then again, I've learnt to accept the facts and face them, that I am who I am and I can only change for the better. I'm happy being all happy-go- lucky and carefree thinking of all the good things in life even if it makes me come out as someone who's just plain immature and full of jokes.

Just because I am what I am doesn't mean when given the right moment or time, I can't be mature or serious. I don't need someone to tell me to do that, I'm just happy acting like I'm 12 trying to enjoy all the good things in life and taking out the bad in the world.

Be careful of your judgements, they're not usually right. It takes a whole book to write a story, and every chapter is different from the other, so you can't tell what it is from one measly cover. Some people don't get it, but that just isn't any of my concern because I'll be too busy enjoying life while these "people" make their judgement.

the vibes of responsibility.

The dictionary says that responsibility is the dependability and reliability of one's own initiative or authority. It also says responsible is the capacity for moral or rational actions and thoughts.

If you were to have a mindset full of moral and rational thoughts and actions, would that make you a person full of responsibility? Does being dependable and reliable mean you are responsible?

Uncle Ben Parker from Spiderman comics says, "With great power comes great responsibility." So here's my question, what exactly does it take to be responsible? How will you know when you are responsible enough?

How reliable and dependable do you have to be? How big a capacity do you need for morals and rationality? That's something I've yet to discover.

To me, being responsible means being able to think for yourself, to take care of yourself. Just like what the dictionary's said. It's just that for some people, responsibility comes to be a very big thing, something you need a lot of.

On the other hand, some prefer less responsibilities. The problem free philosophy. To some, it's said that the lesser the responsibilities, the lesser time you spend worrying about the stunts you need to pull and more of enjoying the stunts you'll be pulling.

Then, there are the people who say the more the responsibilities, the better. Some interpret that having more responsibilities mean more importance to others. The feeling of knowing you're important is a pretty good feeling, it gives out a good vibe.

Would you give up enjoyment to be important? Or would you give up importance to enjoy life as it is? If you're that awesome, you'd probably find important and responsibilities enjoyable so who needs life huh? Hahaha.

That brings me to the conclusion that is depends on how you look at things to know what enough is for you. Everyone's got it different. What matters is if you think you're responsible enough to have certain responsibilities, then you are. It's a matter of what capacity you have in you to go the distance.

Nobody can tell you how responsible you are for something, it's a matter of whether or not you think you can handle something without burdening others or burdening yourself doing it. People can judge how responsible you are, but that's a different story.

sharing the optimism.

life is going by just fine. i grow, i learn. what more is there to ask for? certain aspects in life are not exactly perfect, but who said they had to be? i'm happy right now, though i could ask for more, i'm content with the situation i'm in right now.

carpe diem; seize the day. life life to the fullest, live as if you have no regrets, as if you were going to die tomorrow. that's the plan. of course, never forget to enjoy the little things. the little things that could disappear from your reach in the blink of an eye.

the cold air that breezes by every night with the moonlight.

the warm feeling you get from doing something good.

the cherry on top of ice cream covered in hot chocolate fudge.

lazing around all afternoon with your friends talking about the stupidest things.

going up to the roof staring at the stars, thinking about how small you are in such a big world.

singing alone to the radio with feeling.

dancing by the campfire.

getting a hug.

falling in love.

enjoy the little things, it makes life all the more sweeter just like sprinkles on top of a cupcake. never think negatively too, it's very unhealthy. everybody should be happy whatever the cause because everything will be alright in the end.

optimism makes you smile when pessimism makes you frown, which would you rather have? i want to be happy, don't you? everybody does.

in the words of John O:

"we all have been degraded, we all will be the greatest."

heartbreak to infinity.

A month and a half ago, I was lying in bed the whole afternoon thinking of what to do when all this came slamming into my head. I put it in my iTouch to remember. Just putting it up for you all to read ;)

Heartbreak. Have you ever had the feeling of heartbreak before? Being rejected from your feelings because the other doesn't feel the same way? The feeling of heartbreak because the person you're in love with loves someone else? It's like having ice cream on a cone, but the ice cream fell off. It's like breaking your favorite toy, or losing your favorite shirt because it's too small.

Heartbreak comes in many shapes and forms, but the heartbreak found in a relationship isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the teeny tiny heartbreak you get when you see a person you somewhat have a crush on either way, but you're too out of their league to even have a chance.

Of course that has got to suck big time but that small ray of hope, a silver lining thinking: even against all odds, above all differences and dilemmas stopping you, you can't help but surrender to the fact that your optimism thinks you've still got a chance in the world no matter how small.

Yeah, it's not much of a chance, more or less a miracle if it could happen, it being you and this person becoming a "thing". That leads us to the fact that all human beings would risk getting hurt, risk everything they've got or even give their lives for a small chance, a way or a lead to be... infinite.

Isn't that what we're all fighting for in life? To be infinite? The phrase "to be infinite", what is it exactly? To be in love? To be happy? To be full of yourself? No? Well, I'd have to say being infinite could mean different to one and the same with the next. Whatever that may be, each and every person has their own point of view of what infinite is, and/or what that path to infinity will be for them. Whatever that may be, we all want the same thing, to be infinite.

So that brings us back to our topic of the tiny heartbreak with a person way out of your league that doesn't even know you're in love with them. Wait, love?

So you "love" this person, what does that mean? Does it mean unconditionally, till death do you part, forever and always? Does it mean you like them or you're interested? Or maybe it just means you're infatuated with lust or maybe you're just so fucking turned on by this person? Who knows.

Everyone's got their own way of thinking what the word "love" means for them. That brings us back to the point of infinity, where everyone's got their own definition of what that infinity could be.

That gives us the conclusion that being infinite and being in love are alike. Whatever they may be, depending on how one sees it, love and infinity could be two different things, or two similar things and maybe even to some, they could be one thing altogether. In that case, what we're all risking our lives for, what we're fighting for, what we're giving our blood, sweat and tears for... Is to be loved.

Conclusion? To be loved, is to be infinite. Love is infinite.

And for that heartbreak dilemma? Let's just put it as the great phrase coming from The Beatles: All You Need Is Love. Let love lead your path to infinity. A little thinking, some honesty, a ray of hope, a pinch of courage and a whole lot of love: that's all there is to be infinite.