fragile.

Love. It's the ability to move around and adapt with the flaws and mistakes of someone special, accepting them for who they are and still want to be with them regardless all those flaws. To accomplish that is love because love is an action, not a feeling.

baby doll.

‎2 ∞ & ↑


 Don’t follow something you really mean with “just kidding” to make things less awkward. Make things awkward. Make someone stand there fidgeting without knowing what to say. Because no matter how they react, you put yourself out there. Laid it on the table. Poured out your soul.

hati sejati.

I'd be asleep by now if it weren't for this woman. She goes by many names, but she's Mae to me. She's got a lot of 'spunk' for such a fragile human being, but that's what makes her stand out in my opinion. If you aren't acquainted with her, you would never know just how badass she could be. I'm going to start this post off by how I met such a pretty girl. It was a dark and stormy evening (not really) when I received an anonymous message. A couple of messages later and the rest was history. Yes, just like that. Actually, it doesn't end there. From that point onwards, she was the person I'd somehow end up having a conversation with every night.

Conversations with her are never dull, in my own honest opinion. Why, you ask? It's because there's always something new to talk about with her. She's the kind of girl who knows just how to keep me entertained being someone who gets bored fast. Most of the time, we just end up debating on who's more awesome than who or who's the better person, but our conversations aren't shallow and pointless like most. I learn a lot from her in one way or the other, which is why I find her so interesting.

Aside from being interesting, she intimidates me. All she has to do is raise an eyebrow at you and give you this 'look' and you know you're screwed if you were to try anything funny. Unlike most, she isn't the kind who'd be intimidated by me. Maybe not because she isn't scared, but because she's just really, really fragile inside. As she can be really sensitive, the slightest comment could either make her or break her on certain occasions. I've always said that whenever there's someone or something fragile around, there is nothing else you must do but to handle said thing or person with tender loving care.

Speaking of TLC, she's really feminine too. Like, really. She always flicks her hair around and walks around with her arms sticking out in a posh manner swirling 'em around. I don't know why, but I'm going to guess it's a girl thing. Going back to her sensitive side, she's scared of getting hurt (who isn't anyway?) and making mistakes. I like her just the way she is, but if there was one way she'd be even better, it'd be the fact that she should just stop holding herself back with fear most of the time.

 I could go on talking about her, but some things are better left unsaid (either that or it's because there are some things I want to keep just between me and her, it's more special that way). She asked for me to make a post about her, and she got it. A pretty girl like her looks at the world full of faith, restricted by her own fear and self-imposed rules. I've got a long line of things to say but I'll leave it at: You amaze me.

"Be satisfied with what you have."

- Mae.

don't you think we ought to have learned by now?

It's nothing, really. Ho hum, what's new? It's not like I didn't see it coming. I did. I fucking did.

What pisses me off is that even though I did, I just didn't listen to myself. Stubborn idiot.

I think it's time I started listening to that voice of reason inside my head. You know the problem with people who pick the heart over the mind? They tend to fuck up, crash and burn harder than anyone else.

It's no big deal, at least I think so. Attachments are weaknesses, and those are things that are not worth having.

I'm at a loss for words.

The voice inside my head isn't.

I guess it's time I went to sleep.

Goodnight.

it's not the first time, but this one really carved it in.

I just absolutely hate waiting. Call me impatient, but I just don't see any productivity in waiting for anything or anyone. They say that patience is a virtue, and that it takes one hell of a person to wait for something. When waiting for someone or something, there's a fine line between 'one hell of a person' and 'one hell of an idiot'. You're one hell of a person when you do the waiting the right way, and one hell of an idiot when you do it wrong.

 Now, let's explore. What does waiting do for us aside from teach us to be patient and completely waste our time? A lot of hopeless romantics (I would call myself one, but I'm against waiting) would say that anyone can tell someone they love him or her, but it takes someone really awesome to actually wait and prove it's true. I say, to hell with that! You can wait and prove it's true, but in all honesty, the people worth waiting for are the ones who wouldn't let you wait for even a second. Am I right, or am I right?

 Now that I've completely destroyed that quote, what else is there to contradict about waiting? Oh, I know. The 'wastes our time' part. Of course, there are benefits in waiting, like um, learning about patience. Yes, having patience is nice and all, I've got to admit that but when you wait, you also waste time in a way. Why wait for something when you could be doing something more productive? Why sit and wait for someone, when there's an infinite supply of everything for you out there in the world? I mean, who knows. You could be waiting for someone or something, when at that given moment, you could have been going places or gaining things, going further and moving forward.

No, I'm not the kind of person who's patient. I get bored easily, but I'm pretty sure a couple of posts back, I said that "I was one hell of a patient person". See how worthless waiting is? People change, everything changes. The only thing that's permanent in the world is change. You could be patient now and be the complete opposite later, but what's the point? It's been proven that time waits for no man, so why waste your time waiting? I guess it's the fact that each and everyone of us has a different perspective about waiting, and each of us has our own limits here and there when it comes to that.

Actually, anyone can wait for anything. The only thing we're all ever scared of is whether or not the wait will be worth it in the end. You could be madly in love with someone at that moment and completely convince yourself that you could wait a lifetime for them, when the harsh truth is that your mind could change at any given moment at any given time. Since we're all so scared about what's worth waiting for and what isn't, we end up letting the time slip past us. That in turn causes us to miss a whole lot of different opportunities, good and bad.

A quote I could actually agree on is the one that goes "Do not wait for the perfect moment, take a moment and make it perfect." That, ladies and gentlemen, is truth. We human beings never get satisfied, and that just causes the worst kind of effect on people who actually wait. They just wait and wait for that moment, but since the said person is human, he will never get satisfied or reached the peak of complacency and finally admit that a said moment is deemed absolutely perfect. Long story short, why wait when you could take it right now?

It's right there in front of you, why pull someone's strings and make them wait? So that they could prove they're true? Well, that's unfair. Sometimes, you just need to jump in and take the risk, fuck the waiting. Grab every opportunity you can before they disappear out of your reach, because once they're gone, they may never come back. See how much of a waste that is? Oh, and remember what I said about how everyone has got their own limit? You will never know when enough is enough and how long you can keep going because you could be a second away from believing they're true, when they're one second advanced in coming to the conclusion that you're just wasting their time. 

People have got to realize that. That you can gain just as much as you can lose just by seizing the moment or waiting endlessly. Waiting makes absolutely no progress, that's why it's called waiting... And with lifespans as short as ours, I sure as hell don't have any time to waste. Everything moves forward, no matter how slow, no matter how short, all we've got to do is keep up. Take that extra step, one step at a time. Why wait when you could be more than you already are? Why lag behind for something when everything is advancing? People mistake waiting as something positive only because they apply impatience with something negative like fear, therefore in the end, it fucks the whole system up.

In all honesty, all I really wanted to do was completely destroy that 'wait and prove it's true' shit because I think it's full of shit, but I think I've accomplished a whole lot more than that. Never let anyone let you wait. Do what you want. Always dictate the pace. Keep up or eat dust. I repeat, nobody's worth waiting for, because the ones worth waiting for won't let you wait.