a synthetic sensation.

So much for a storm. Today was fuckin' hot! I guess that means tomorrow then! I sure hope it's a no show though, I like it when it rains but too much is never a good thing. I've enjoyed the weather the last couple of days due to the fact that it was raining, not too hard or soft, just right. The rain gives me a very soothing feeling of... wanting to go to the toilet. Okay, not really, but yeah it's soothing. It's as if it's washing away all the negativity, to me at least... I'm a very negative and pessimistic person though, there's no doubt about that.

There is one thing I do not like about rain though. When it rains too hard, the bugs go out to play. I'm afraid of bugs okay, maybe not afraid... Terrified, frightened, scared shitless? Somewhere along those lines, but yeah anyway... Just forget I said anything.

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To be quite honest, I just don't really have anything to blog about today. I know I said I'd put up a long ass post today, but it's not done yet! Well okay fine, I haven't even started yet. I think I'll put it up some other time, there's always tomorrow right? I just talk about whatever comes to mind. Most of the time, whatever I end up blogging about has something to do with something that happened recently or something I find interesting or important.

Dearest reader, if you by any chance want to contact me, send an e-mail, leave a message, make a comment! My e-mail's right there by the sidebar along with the links to my profile on 3 other websites I regularly go to, there's a chatbox below it in case you want to drop a small message (The damn spammers are annoying the fuck out of me though) or something, whatever. It'd be nice to know just who the hell is reading this and what they think.

It'd be nice to hear from certain people.

slipping through my fingers.

I haven't been able to understand the gut feelings popping in and out of my head over the last couple of days. They just come and go, and usually leave me in a very quiet and easily pissed off mood that should not be. Watching movies just makes me overanalyze things, and I sure as hell am not interested in overanalyzing anything like this right now... I just want it out of my system. I've come to the point that I just have no clue what to do with it. Blogging surely isn't helping like it used to.

I've tried letting it out through the guitar, spazzing out on a video game or just eating it off, but it's like you've got something stuck in your throat that you're dying to get let out, but you just can't find a way to which leads you to for some reason feeling very empty everywhere else. You just can't be fucked to bother doing chores, talk, or anything remotely productive.

It's like you're jumping to reach something, but no matter how hard you try or how high you jump, it's as if it just gets higher and higher and trying just feels worthless after each attempt. Like you want to do something, but something's holding you back. Since you're being held back, you just end up feeling dissatisfied and very.. incomplete. Like something's missing. Then you just... Ah, fuck it.

Credits to foreverisours.tumblr.com

I asked myself If I should keep fighting or not.

At least I know what I'm hoping for.