Expressing myself is what I would call "a challenge". I know people who have no problem doing this. I also know people who have a massive dilemma whenever expressing themselves was needed.
I'm the kind of person who refuses the act of expression. I treat it like it's Math, I can't be fucked to bother. I'm more comfortable just going with the flow of the waves of life, keeping to myself unless it's necessary to peer out of my shell for a bit. It makes me feel comfortable, but I never realized until a few days back just how miserable and depressing it really is. I laughed at the irony.
Imagine how you're in your own shell, enjoying things and doing whatever possible to keep you occupied. Then you wonder why it feels so lonely. So, you decide to look for somebody to do something with. You convince said person to go out with you and enjoy yourselves and give the person a good time. After everything that's been said and done, you come back home and repeat cycle.
Yet, in every sense you still feel lonely. Sad. Out of place. Doesn't everybody get that sometimes? Well fine, SOME PEOPLE. I'm not saying all of us have this dilemma. I have it most of the time being someone who keeps to himself, being in my comfort zone far too giddy to even try getting out of it.
Just think about it: You don't express yourself to people, you just smile or laugh at the little things and then bug off and do your own thing. When you do say something, you just try to get some attention and run away from the facts you don't want to face. To hell with that, realization says that you could run and hide, but you won't get away. The fact of the matter is that people like that, me included, just refuse to face the bare facts.
We wonder why we're lonely, depressed, out of place and whatever shit so we try to run away from that by doing something or directing our attention to something else to forget the situation. We can keep doing that, but it will never last. Truth be told, it doesn't work that way. We find it easier to run, than to face our fears, and if that routine rubbish is not stopped, then our so-called fears will never go away.
Fear is what holds us all back from doing what we really want. We're afraid of doing this, doing that, because this might happen, that might explode, someone might react, someone might die... Whatever floats your boat. If we don't get rid of our fears, how can we expect to live life to the fullest and enjoy every little thing and be happy, to infinity and beyond?
We can only find that solution or remedy in ourselves and ourselves alone. To find it inside ourselves, we need to face our fears. To face our fears, we need to get out of our comfort zone. To get out of our comfort zone, we need to have the initiative to do that. That's why we can only do it ourselves, no help, no shortcut, nada. Me, myself and I. It goes on and on and you can't get to the finish line that never ends without doing this step by step plan full of win.
The irony of it all is that here I am telling you readers about the solution when the solution itself is something I can't achieve. Like I said, I laughed at the irony. This is my dilemma, my issue and problem that I treat as if it's rocket science. I just thought I'd give it to you all, y'know? One of these days... Talk about listening to my own advice. Do you now see where the post came from?
The source of all your problems will always be yourself. You want them out of your system, only you can do something about it, nobody else. Your life, your shit.
That was a great lesson I learned recently, don't you think?
