heaven can wait.

patience [ˈpeɪʃəns]

n

1. Tolerant and even-tempered perseverance.

2. The capacity for calmly enduring pain, trying situations, etc.

Forbearance, tolerance, composure... You have to admit, not everyone has patience in the world. One would demand things to just fall into his/her lap as soon as they need a specific thing while another would rather wait it out and "keep their cool".

There are people who don't know how to be patient, whereas they would blow their minds with anger if something took too long or if a certain situation didn't go their way. A good example would be some customers in a restaurant.

Oh yes! There you are waiting in line, just waiting to reach the counter so that a restaurant employee could take your order. People tend to fiddle with themselves, or try to distract themselves with their surroundings. Impatient people, however, are just plain assholes. There are people who try to skip the line and not wait their turn, some get shit pissed if the order takes too long to prepare.

Haven't we all experienced that? Minority of people have little to no patience. Too little of that is usually a really bad thing to most. That's too bad, because too much patience is actually quite a bad thing as well just like how too much of anything is bad for anybody.

Just think of this scenario. What if you were the person behind this REALLY patient son of a bitch who ordered a small takeout of food that is taking longer than usual in that restaurant? Assertive beings would realize that the order is obviously taking far too long than it's supposed to, but REALLY patient people wouldn't care.

They'd just stand and wait anyway, hoping and assuming that things will come in due time so there's no need to rush. Another scenario could be like my dilemma a few posts ago (Read "we'll be a dream" if you have no idea what I'm talking about). The test of your tolerance and patience could be your downfall.

Oh and of course, there's also that instance where if you don't have enough patience for something, you'd give up before you even get there or get it. Don't give up too soon, a little while longer wouldn't hurt if you've already waited quite a bit. Also, don't give up too late, realize when too much is too much that you just really have to get over it and move on.

Point of the post: Have patience, just not too much. You should know when enough is enough and be able to put a limit on certain things and situations. Nobody wants to deal with an impatient person, nor does anyone want to deal with someone too "loose".

I learned this a while ago. Take it from me, I'm just one hell of a patient asshole.

fear is adorable.

I do whatever it takes

When I'm with you I get the shakes

My body aches when I ain't

With you I have zero strength

There's no limit on how far I would go

No boundaries, no lengths

Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks

Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em it's never the same?

You want them when they don't want you

Soon as they do feelings change

It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate

I wasn't looking but I stumbled onto you must've been fate

But so much is at stake what the fuck does it take

Let's cut to the chase

But a door shuts in your face

Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open

That I won't be making a mistake

Eminem is a genius.

It's no contest or conquest. It's fate.

---

I know a couple of people in the world who think they're weak, who hold themselves back with fear. I like to think I'm not one of those people anymore, but it comes and goes sometimes. They have things they want to do, things they want to say, but they can't because they're too weak, they're not brave enough, they're afraid of getting hurt, rejected, denied. Or so they think.

Fear is a teacher, so I've learned. Whenever you let it get into your head, it only means you refuse to learn. That's what fear does, it scares you, it's fear after all isn't it? I keep telling myself: If it can't hurt you physically, then it can't kill you. So what is there to be afraid of?

Some say, "but if it doesn't go well, everything will end up awkward, and I'll die of embarrassment! I'll be so depressed and hate myself and it's..." Shut up. Really. Grow the fuck up. So what? If you're sad, then you are. If you're embarrassed, then you are. What does not doing what you want to do have to do with that?

To every action, there is always an equal and opposite reaction. It's the law. Isaac Newton's law (Hey, we have the same name!). Don't be a pussy, deal with the consequences. If it hurts, then it does. Get over it, move on. End of story!

Yes, it's easier said than done, but will you get anywhere just wallowing in fear being a vanilla? Just because there'll be negative reactions in your every action doesn't mean there won't be anything positive with it too.

So you want to learn to ride a bike; you'll fall down and get hurt trying to learn, but you'll learn eventually if you keep trying. You want to confess your undying love for someone but there's a chance you'll be hurt and rejected. So what? The chances of that happening are just as much as the chances of that NOT happening.

Take that extra step. Your decision on whether or not you do something could be the decision on whether or not you'll be happy.

Push yourself, Pull through with it, and just like that great Nike innuendo, "Just Do It." So what's stopping you now? Get out there and do what you want to do, say what you want to say, feel what you want to feel, deal with whatever happens after and move on.

No pain, no gain?

sleeping with reality.

I swear nobody gets up for work at 5AM on a Sunday unless they've got an event to be at or something. I guess it's just me. I don't know why, but sleeping has never really been an issue for me. I consider it a privilege instead of a need.

I've been the type to not be able to sleep until about 2AM due to a caffeine rush. Then again, I never really did mind because I could just lie here and stare at the ceiling for hours on end. Okay fine, maybe I mind... Just a little.

The sleeping is the easy part, it's the waking up that gets us all don't you think? Being able to escape to our own sanctuary to enjoy and kick back from reality and just float around in your imagination. Doing as you please being "lord and master" of your own little world in your head.

Then after all that silent bliss, you wake up feeling refreshed, happy and just plain care-free. Until of course, reality decides to drive a truck right fucking into your consciousness and you suddenly remember all the dilemmas and predicaments you have to deal with in this black and white world.

That's when you just feel weak, numb, or far too lazy to get up. You just want to stay in that little notion of what reality should be like, that fancy little piece of infinity you have etched in your mind, but reality always wins.

And that's life, that's how it is and that's just the way things are. No matter how hard you drive, the truck of reality will always run you over, and we just have to accept it. Living in denial just means you're heading towards an inevitable car crash against reality.

Nobody wants to be a wreck. Take things as they come, it won't hurt. Accepting the facts means you just might be able to do something about it. Don't succumb to the negativity creeping around life, because no problem is permanent, there will always be a solution.

Get up, go out, live. That little fantasy in your head can be a reality, all you've got to do is dream big and go for it. With your dreams, not even the sky is the limit, so it's up to you to make your dreams happen.

And to think, all this came from a good night's sleep? Huh.

stay up and get down.

Maturity was never really my forte, or so I've heard.

immature

adj immature [iməˈtjuə]

1 childish and behaving like someone much younger.

2 not fully grown or fully developed; not ripe.

3 deficient in maturity; lacking wisdom, insight, emotional stability, etc.

I am in no position to contradict the definition of a dictionary... But here's my opinion anyway, take it however you want it, contradicting or not. When we speak in terms of science, the body reaches full development after teen years, early adulthood, however you want to call it. Metaphorically speaking, there is no limit to how much we can grow.

Insight is the capacity to understand.

Wisdom is the ability to utilize knowledge.

Emotional stability is the state of mental calmness or composure.

I, for one, only have the capacity to understand minority of the many complications of life. I know I can utilize whatever I know, if not, I wouldn't be able to type this down. As for my composure, I'm pretty sure I can keep myself in place alone. That makes me a mature human being, I guess.

However, some people in my very bright and colorful life (I think it's safer to say most) think I'm a pretty immature human being. I enjoy being loud, playful and care-free. Most of the time, people say I am not one to be taken seriously mainly because I joke around far too much. You know what I think?

To hell with that, I'll be as loud as I want and as playful as I can get. Life is the opposite of death, and death is just quiet and inanimate. I'm happy I can be this way, it's those who don't appreciate little things like this that don't deserve life at all.

Rule #1: Don't sweat the small stuff.

Rule #2: It's all small stuff.

- Dr. Michael Mantell

There is a limit for everything, just as in my opinion that there is a time to be mature as well was immature. If it were up to me, I sure as hell wouldn't want to be mature and calm all the time. Where's the fun in that?

Then again, being mature doesn't mean you can't have fun anymore, nor does being immature mean you can't be calm and wise. Don't take it the wrong way, I have nothing against being mature, it's just that some people define maturity the wrong way, for me at least.

Oh well, that's just how the way things are and I can live with that. You just cannot please them all. I am who I am, and that's all there is to it.