take me back to the sleepless nights, the stupid fights.

"Just don't forget this, we won't regret this. We've got one chance to get it right."

- The Maine (We All Roll Along)

It's already June 14th, time flies so fucking fast now doesn't it? It's as if it was only yesterday that... Yeah. One can only look back so many times to the days that have passed. An important somebody once told me that frustration is a feeling where you can't accept the fact that you weren't able to do something. You end up annoyed or angry, somewhere along those lines.

I know I said I've lost my frustration already, but I don't think that was very accurate. I think I only meant to say that my frustration disappeared during those moments. I have to figure out what's frustrating my ass. Truth be told, I already know what's frustrating me, I just don't want to admit it. I just don't want to face that.

I'm going to settle my business with school tomorrow so that maybe, hopefully I can start school by next week. I don't know what to expect with school here in the Philippines. I've been so used to the sleeping habit in Brunei that I'm afraid I might just do the same here. I'd walk in, go to my desk, drop my things and sleep. When a teacher shows up, get up to greet, sit and stare and somehow fall asleep after a bit. Hardworking, no?

I'm not going to lie, I'm one hell of a lazy ass, but when it comes right down to it I really do try my best to study and all... but only when I feel like it. That feeling comes rarely, but I've always managed to get good grades even if I am like that. At least I think so! I don't think anything they teach in school is necessary for me to survive reality, but knowledge is always welcome to enter my head, useful to me or not.

Anyway, going back to topic: Yes, I don't know what to expect. I'm pretty sure school life here is different in every aspect compared to school in Brunei. What's even more different is that this isn't high school anymore. I cannot imagine what the classrooms will be like, the lectures, the classmates, pretty much everything. Being a pessimist, I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worst. *grin*

Only time will tell what our future holds. What exactly we're destined to do, and all that pizazz. Yeah, only time will tell, but nobody else in the world can shape my future except for me.

The fate of my future is in the balance! I must no- okay, no.

hearts, they don't lie. they just quiver in fear.

Hello. The reason I have not posted anything recently is because of this damn video I've been trying to upload. I made a cover of Go Radio's House of Hallways, and I just can't seem to put it up. I've been doing it since yesterday. I managed to complete the upload twice, but Blogger just decides to fuck with me and freeze at 100% and not upload. Do you know how frustrating it is to wait 2 hours to reach 100% only to find out it wasn't going to upload anyway?! *sigh*

I'm going to try Youtube now, instead of this.. *excessive swearing* .. Yeah. Hopefully I can get it uploaded in Youtube so I can get it done and over with and finish another cover. I plan on doing Adele's Make You Feel My Love, the one Bob Dylan covered I think. If I don't do that, I'll probably just play a combination of songs by the Eraserheads and mash it all into one whole song just because. The video's currently at 2%.. I'll probably just sleep and check it again at 4AM or something, I don't know.

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I've gotten lazy. I'm not as determined and enthusiastic compared to how I was a couple of months ago. I don't know why, but most of the time I've just been so grumpy and frustrated. Not only that, it feels as if I've lost my motivation, or any inspiration for that matter. I just don't fucking know how long this will go on but this is surely not healthy. But anyway, let's not talk about that, let's stare at this gif I found on the internet:

Fuck LOGIC. But y'know, sometimes it feels like logic's the one doing the fucking.

On a brighter note, life's been just fine. I can't say it's been bad, but I can't say it's been good either. I'm in the mood for a rant, so I'm going to roughly type down how life's been giving me lemons lately.

The house has been giving me a tense vibe lately. I don't know if it's because everyone's just stressed out with work and all. Honestly, I don't feel like I belong.

I'm pissed off at a certain somebody. I'm not going to mention names, but I am. I have a zero tolerance level for people who are full of shit.

I'm stressing out on school. I haven't enrolled, school's about to start, yaddayadda.

That's not all of it, but I just can't be fucked to talk about anything else. I'm frustrated at so many things, it's unhealthy. Whatever, I'm going to sleep.