you'd help me out of the dark.

It's been a while since I've last blogged. A lot of things have changed nowadays. Inside, outside, and everything in between. I flunked my exams, the one that was supposed to finally get me into college and not repeat senior year a third fuckin' time. Seriously. Third time's the charm I guess? If you're wondering what the results were, here they are:

English / Filipino / Social Studies / Maths / Science
1 100 100 86 100 100
2 91 100 93 100 100
3 95 70 89 100 87

Okay, before I explain this, DO NOT ASK how I got everything in Math perfect. I do not know, it might probably just be a god damn miracle because I know I just tried my luck and picked the most plausible answer on the list without even doing the calculations.

Anyway, those are what I got out of those 600 fucking questions they made me answer within 10 hours. It was hell, I tell you. They all criticized and told me off on my decision of taking the exam despite my odds of passing in the first place. Aside from the fact that there were 600 questions, being a foreigner in my own country, and the argument on my condition, I took the exam anyway.

As you can see, I did pretty fucking well in my opinion. I've never, ever had social studies as a subject in Brunei, nor did I ever take formal lessons on Filipino. A divine miracle happened and I did not get a single mistake in Math, English went by just fine, and Science was not something I expected to get high in being the "Absent or Asleep" student that I was back in Brunei.

But I still did not pass the exam. Why? I got 70 for Filipino, on the very last set of questions. According to Filipino education, I need to have scored at least 75 and above for each and everyone of them. Just because I got everything perfect on the last two sets does not mean I'm exempted from that rule. So, long story short: If I got above 75, I'd be able to get into college.

But I didn't. So one measly flunk meant that I flunked the whole thing. Sigh. Do I at least get an A for effort? Too late, I'm sure.

***

On a brighter note, I've learned and picked up quite a few things about myself and other things over the last couple of days. I learned (or relearned. I probably forgot some as time passed):

1. I'm afraid of the dark, but I love the dark. It's soothing, subtle and romantic.
2. As much as I love boxing, nothing will beat the love I have for music, singing and guitars.
3. You can be rude, loud and obnoxious. You can be proud, and so on, but nothing describes you're strong more than being gentle. It takes a lot of strength to be gentle amidst all the dilemmas in the world. Lola taught me this.
4. I still have some traumas from the past I can't get over.
5. I still enjoy being very cheesy.

Nothing wraps up a night like a rant and some music to boot.