inner light, under star.

The first day of college was pretty good. Finally getting my chance to stick around with people in my age group has done some good... and some bad throughout the day. My first impression of my class and school life 'to be' wasn't what I expected. I didn't really expect much, but it went better than I thought it would have. Everyone's got their own group of friends, while I'm the social outcast sitting around waiting for class to start and end. I don't mind, I don't have to deal with any bullshit from anyone except for my own.

I'd be lying if I said I liked my class. I found most of them fucking annoying, attention seeking, inconsiderate and exceedingly arrogant.. But who am I to judge? It's only been a day. I guess we'll see how things go after a month or so. I've got uniforms and all that already, so I guess it's time I adapt for real. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but it was fucking hilarious. Aside from my instructor calling prosthetic limbs "a prostesic" and a few classmates trying so hard to speak fancy English, they've got good senses of humor. Let's see how I do after a month. :)

~~~

Okay, I'm in the mood for some cheese. Here's something I came up with as I went along with it:

I could sit around and sing songs about you and me all day. I could talk and rant about you forever and a day to anyone who'd give me a chance. The first and last thing on my mind would be all you, just wondering how you are. Thinking, if we took a different step somewhere before all this, would we have been any different than how we are now? Hoping, you'll hear my calls for you to come back. Having faith, that through all the distance standing in between, you're still somewhere out there with me on your mind, and in your heart. I'd be lying through my teeth if I told you I was fine with everything going down, but I'd be lying to myself if I told you I don't love you anymore.

I'm still on my feet, are you? I just thought you should know.

That's enough for now. Speak and be heard, fear will only hold us back.

when we're good, you know we're great.

By special request, this is for my very beautiful mother.

This is 'Tomorrow' by Chris Young.

Enjoy!

Click HERE to view the cover!

who cares here enough to set us free.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7T69EDddKw

FINALLY, it uploaded.

'twas sloppy.

Enjoy it anyway.

I'll upload another tomorrow.

the things worth saying.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

-Albert Einstein

There are quite a number of people I know that just degrade themselves to the level of shit. I don't know why, but I'm guessing some do it for attention. Others would probably do that out of self pity, and the rest probably just felt like it, who knows. I absolutely hate it when I find out someone I know thinks so negatively about themselves. Some people just don't know their worth. I'm not saying I'm not one of them, I have my moments with self pity too. Everyone does.

Yes, crying and wallowing in your own self pity is a good thing sometimes. It helps us remember that this is reality, and we're still alive. To know that we are human after all. Just don't overdo it with the waterworks and the emotional negativity, too much is never a good thing. To think that you aren't just as important and wanted as anyone else around you makes you a complete and total dumb shit.

Wake up, insecurities won't make you feel any better. It only goes one way, and that's if you think you're full of shit, then you probably are. End of story. Everyone's got something inside them that they hate, or maybe just something about themselves that makes them feel bad. So, you have this "disadvantage", who gives a damn? Nobody. Well, maybe you but whatever. You could have a cleft lip for all anyone cares, that doesn't make you any less special from anyone else.

Point is, every single one of us is special in our own way. We can have anything, but we just can't have it all. Everyone's got something nobody else has except for themselves, be grateful for that. Yes, there will always be someone better than you out there and that's understood. If you look at it the right way, that's actually a good thing. I mean, if there was nobody better than you, how can you get better when you already know you're the best?

You are what you eat, from your head to your feet. Feed yourself rubbish and that's what you shall be. Feed yourself awesomeness, that's what you will fucking be.

fallin' apart for fallin' together.

It's damn near 3AM, and I'm nowhere near close to sleepy. I'm contemplating whether or not to sleep because quite frankly, I can't be fucked to sleep in the first place. In the wee hours of the morning, I am celebrating my 17th birthday in the presence of my laptop, a fan and Mr. Stache. I suddenly got in the mood for a short post, so here we are.

Who knows just how crazy it'll be in the morning given that it is my birthday. I wonder what'll be up and happenin' and all. I intended to go boxing tomorrow, but since I already did today I'm just too damn lazy to go again the following day itself.

Here's what I learned today: Even the greatest things can fall apart. There is just as much chance for the greatest things to fall apart just as there is as much chance for the greatest things to fall together. If life were a coin, it'd be 50-50 so to speak. If there was a 50-50 chance for you to get your dreams in your grasp while at the same time a chance for you to fuck your life up forever, would you take that risk? Would you give yourself a chance to make or break it by hook or by crook?

Most will say they will, but when it comes down to the very moment itself, most just plain chicken out. Some take the greatest things for granted. For example, you've always dreamed of being a ROCKSTAR! The moment you become one, get famous and fulfill the ambition, most would end up thinking: "Can this get better or is this all that there is?" Well, that's a shitty mindset to be honest.

Some people just don't know what they've really got, just how special and valuable it is and all that... Until it's all gone. Do not ever take shit for granted, always be damn sure because who knows just what you could hurt, what you could lose, what you could destroy at the end of your shallowness. Once you get what you want, enjoy it. Cherish it. Fulfill it. Use it to its every capability. If you feel like the love you've got for it is lessening, do whatever it takes to remind yourself, to keep yourself going, because just because you've already gotten what you want doesn't mean that's the end of it. It's just the beginning.

If you can't handle that, then you never really wanted it as much as you thought you did when it comes right down to it. You just haven't got the balls to handle it. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE AWESOMENESS. Shit. Just think of that once you screw up and take something for granted why don't you? Karma's gonna bite your ass. Oh well, lesson learned reader. Impassioned post isn't it?

strangers.

"If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders."

I was lurking around tumblr like I usually did and I stumbled upon a photo that said that. It's been said that no matter what confusion or disagreement you may have between your heart and your mind, in the end the heart always follows the mind. Then I thought, "where is my heart right now?" and funnily enough, it was in my body pumping blood to cir- okay, just kidding. I did actually think of that though.

In my opinion, your heart is never usually with you. Have you ever noticed that every time someone mentions "your heart", your mind wanders to a certain somebody in an instant? It's either that or it wanders to the deepest pool of your desires. That's when you truly know you really want that something... Or you're just really fucking confused and insecure with your life not knowing what you really want yet. *hollow laughter*

Well, I know what I want. I've this itch to talk about what I want anyway, so let's roll with this post. I WANT... food right now. I just can't be fucked to get up and get some in the kitchen right n- okay, okay. In all seriousness, I want to make it BIG, to go sky high. Like, to infinity and beyond.

I've always wanted to be a kick-ass famous musician. I want to be that someone standing in front of thousands, wait no, to hell with that... MILLIONS chanting my name, playing a #1 single with MY band, with pyrotechnics going off in key moments of our performance, sweat and tears running through everybody's system, fog and those bright lights. The bright lights pointing to infinity and beyond.

"... That's so Bon Jovi."

HAHA. Hey, it's a dream I'm willing to go to any lengths for. A guy can dream, can't he? That's what I want, and getting there is in the palm of my hands... Just like how everything is in your hands when it comes to getting to your desires, too.

Fun fact: I want to get a tattoo that goes under my collar bone, or maybe on my forearm. I want it to say: ad infinitum. Now, that is awesome.

Okay, this post has gotten out of hand. It went from a tumblr post, to the heart, to what I want, to tattoos. This is madness.